最近为了一件事很烦。一直拿不定主意， 一直徘徊在 ‘回’ 与‘不回’ 间, ‘拿’ 和 ‘不拿’ 间。
那 ‘回’ 哪， ‘拿’ 什么 呢？ 回澳大利亚拿它的公民权/国籍 ( citizenship ) 啰！
我有澳洲的永久居民证（permanent resident visa) 。可是，我这样三地飞来飞去的日子，已近两年半。居民证只有五年限期。 续签的条件是，必须在那五年期间居住在澳洲至少两年。 我的签证未到期，可也不远了。
Great Ocean Road (Australia) & Niagara Falls (Canada)
澳洲护照
在澳洲住了十多年，虽偶尔有想过拿它的护照，可是一想到马来西亚不允许 dual citizenship，就打消那个念头。可是，现在没在那里住了，开始担心因无法满足续签条件，而失去居民证。将来要再申请未必容易。所以，才想到唯一的出路是拿澳洲护照，那我就无后顾之忧了。
于是，上网查申请澳洲国籍的手续, 怎知查到申请条件的更改。其实，这新政策在2007年年中已实行，是我在外国的日子太久，没留意到。 我在过去的两年内没住足十二个月，所以，我必须在今年五月中回澳洲住十个月，才可申请。如果，今年五月中前没回到，将来我要申请的话，将依新政策 – 申请前必须在澳洲住上至少四年后才可。(想知道申请澳洲国籍详情的朋友， 请点击这里)
这可烦透了！
分隔两地
Ed现在手头上的工作未完成，回去是我一个人回，我们须分隔两地。
逻辑告诉我，回吧！才十个月，很快过的。拿到澳洲护照后，益处多多。澳洲护照比大马的更通行全球，我可省下很多申请旅游签证的麻烦。澳洲的社会福利和保障也好很多。可是，这五年来，我和Ed分开的日子多过在一起的时间。我已很厌倦那种我醒来时，他刚睡着的日子，连要通个电话也很费劲。
那留下来等Ed的工作完成后，一起回去吧。而且，我们刚挨完长达四个多月的冬天，现在正想好好享受春夏季。我们已想到很多旅游计划 ( 如欧洲，纽约市等 )。可是，如果我迟回的话，就必须依新政策，要拿国籍须住至少四年后才可申请。以Ed的工作性质很难在澳洲呆上四年，那既是说我们还是有段时间须分隔两地 !
Federation Square (Melbourne) & University of Toronto (Toronto)
澳洲情怀
有些朋友问我，为什么你还要澳洲的移民签证呢？你有了加拿大的签证后，不就够了吗？唉….我对澳洲有种特别情怀，除了马来西亚，它是我的第二个家。我十七岁时，英文很不行，对西方文化不太了解，在澳洲也没亲戚朋友，却胆粗粗到澳洲留学。这十多年来，努力耕耘，在那有事业，有很多好朋友，什么都建立起来了，我放不下。
而且，澳洲的生活质素真的很好，天气也较温和。Ed在美国的阳光加州住了近十年，已不习惯加拿大的冬天。我这个热带女孩更不用说。现在年轻希望在美加闯，等想要安定的日子时，我们要回澳洲。我俩的性格好自由，移民签证给我们一种自由的感觉，至少，它让我们知道，当我们想要去澳洲生活时，就可以回去生活。不用求人。我难得已有了签证，这个不可放弃。
挥之不去
哎呀！我在这里稀里哗啦地说，抱歉，把你们闷透了。 这些移民政策又复杂又麻烦。我读了官方网页几十遍才读明白。你们有耐心读到这里，听我发牢骚，我很感激。
怎样都好，‘去留’ 这个问题，是我这十多年来挥之不去的烦恼。十七岁时，烦要留在马来西亚升学呢？还是出国留学？澳洲毕业后，烦要留下来工作呢？还是回大马找工？澳洲工作稳定后，烦到底要不要回家。认识了Ed后，烦要不要为了他离开澳洲呢？现在，我在烦， ‘回不回‘，‘拿不拿’ ?! 到底这是我个人性格有问题，常拿不定主意呢？还是命中带有浪游的命？或这是每个移民的烦恼？或只是我们这些来自不同国家的夫妇的烦恼 ?
你们说呢？
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
为了更长远的目标和计划，我觉得回澳洲呆十个月好。：）
我也是这样觉得。十个月后，就自由身，从此不用担心。
可是，日子越来越逼近需回澳大利亚时，心里却越不舍得。或者，女人总是比较情绪化吧。
啊！对了。我能不能称呼你作 ‘僧人’呢？如果叫你 ‘贱僧’的话，好像没礼貌 ;)
我喜欢大家叫我“贱僧”，当然啦，你叫我“僧人”也可以，随便啦，虽然我不是一个准僧人……
另外，10个月，让我想起一个词：“怀胎十月”，是不是饶有意味？
希望你这10个月之后，带一个“宝宝”回来。“怀胎”期间别忘了用 blog 告诉大家“宝宝”的近况。
：）
哈哈！我澳洲的朋友一听到我要回澳洲十个月，第一个问题就问:’你回来怀孕生孩子呀?’
像你说的，真是饶有意味！一定会在这里告诉大家 ‘宝宝’的近况
though it is not easy to made a decision, however u should feel good bout it, at least, you got to choose, for us, i think we can oni have 1 citizenship – and sad to say it is malaysia
not goin to give any suggestion, i know your husband n u will sure made THE best decision… GOOD LUCK
Hey Yih Loong, yeah, you really reminded me of appreciation. Thanks ! Living life with such appreciation itself is happiness. Regardless what decision we eventually make, still it is a fortune to have such choices. And understand your frustrations in Malaysia…..
Heehee….at the end of the day, a decision has to be made, and whatever the decision, I am determined to make it the best decision. It is what we can create together out of every decision. Thanks for your wonderful support here
看完你這篇，我看到，其實你很清楚自己要的、應該去做的。你心底深處根本很清楚，如果你不入澳洲籍，是會後悔的。只是現在有些感性因素讓你覺得煩罷了。
那十個月只是一時，有些事卻是一輩子……所以，去吧！！！
Bingo !! 你说到我心底里的。 你怎么看得那么清呀? 如果，Ed现在可以放下手头上的工和我一起回去的话，我根本想也不用想就可以马上搭飞机回澳洲….
10 mths will be over even before you realise it – compared to 48 mths of separation with your husband, which you have to endure if you delay. Moreover, you have plenty of friends to support and tide you through. Brings to mind when my GF and I were apart for 7 years – saw each other just once a year. And internet/webcam wasn’t available at the time. (Thinking back, 的确是…). Dual citizenship has never been an issue (for me anyway), as long as you don’t volunteer the information. The Malaysian Govt never asked anyway. If & when they do, I won’t shed a tear. Guess, in life, we win some, lose some…(Btw, 希望没吓到你哦)
OMG !! Saw each other only once a year for 7 years !! Your gf is amazing !!! I thought I am a very strong woman, but she is a superwoman !! Please tell her I admire her !!
Not really 48 months separation, he will try to come but just can’t last for 4 years in total.
Shhhh…….don’t say it loud here…I tried very hard to be a good citizen of Malaysia, but many people told me what you said here…..shhhhhh…..
哈哈！没吓到。
Err..umm. I didn’t actually tell you the full story. I am afraid it’s quite difficult, if at all possible to convey your admiration to her. This story goes back 20 years. (I’m ‘uncle’ already, remember
). Here goes :
We actually broke up in the 8th year. She couldn’t bear to leave her parents and needed time to weigh her options. But at the same time, total loyalty was demanded. So, here I was in Aus, leaving a ‘secluded’ life, while she was there. Then towards the end, another guy appeared on the scene and the once-a-year reunion relationship eventually took its toll. [To make matters worst, due to religious upbringing; "the line" was never crossed. Had since kissed religion goodbye for good. In retrospect, (I) was indeed the ultimate fool...]
It seems you are still patriotic thus the confusion, I guess. The lyrics of this song “Torn Between Two Lovers” (“Countries” in this case), should aptly decribe your confusion: You may want to google for the lyrics
Wish you & partner well, whatever your ultimate decision is…(OMGosh, midnight already. Had better go.)
Umm…thanks for sharing your story. Sorry to hear that, and it must be hard for you to talk about it again. Yeah, I understand how difficult it is for long distance, not to mention for such a long time and only see each other once a year. You are not the fool. It is just that, unfortunately, women are not that strong, and normally need more support than men. Like me and Ed, Ed totally able to separate his daily living from missing me. He is like having two brains that can switch modes whenever he wants to. However, for me, I can’t do that ! So, going back to Oz will be hard for me, though I do have many many close friends I can spend times with but still will miss him, so I know I will be the one who will struggle more. And for him, life goes on, and he might miss me but he can control it pretty well. So unfair !!!
Actually, from a detailed analysis (other than being prescribed anti-depressants for severe depression over a year) by a psychiatrist after the breakup; it was found that my personality type is 5% of the male population.
( & Sorry for my long comment!)
Though not gay (strictly heterosexual!) my thought process & traits are more inclined to that of the fairer sex. My ex was a bit tom-boyish.
Did miss her quite badly while apart. Coped by immersing myself in religious activities & a part-time job on weekends during those years. After the breakup, i was devastated & became a “dangerous man” (ie. a heartbreaker, but who puts up “warning sign” ie. “Be warned. Proceed at your own risk!”) for a while. Anyway, i am okay now (i think) and have moved on. Admittedly, i am now a bit desensitised.
Anyway, therefore, both men & women can be in either role – ie. the “misser” & “the missee”. Best wishes to you & Ed
No worries about long comments
Thanks for sharing and am happy that you have moved on.
So true, men and women can be either role. We never can generalised anything….
Thanks for your best wishes and I have not decided !!!!!!!!!!!!! Headache…headache…
其实改变国籍后，许多人后悔回中国有诸多不便，签证难办，工作准证难申请，再想改回中国籍难于登天。我倒有一个绝妙的法子，因为改回中国籍虽然难，但难的只是中国大陆，若是申请香港，澳门和台湾居民，就相对容易一些。只是香港，澳门和台湾出入大陆也还是受限制，台湾的情况更是特殊，而且要成为香港，澳门和台湾公民也需在当地生活和工作几年。
X君发了关于是否该改变国籍的感言，我也有感而发，想说上几句。对于我来说，你生就中国人的面孔，即便是香蕉人，也剥不去那层黄皮，你无法转换基因，在种族一栏你永远要填Chinese, 我不知道有些改变国籍人士每天忙于向人解释自己是华人而不是中国人的时候是什么感受，而当别人坚持你是中国人拒绝认同你的时候又是何感受？
另一方面来讲，心有多大，世界就有多大。我从来不是实用主义者，算不出改变国籍究竟能换来多少实惠，我只知道，当你面对一个土生土长的国人，不管你是哪国人，他心胸够包容的都能认同你；而对于那些排他情结很重的人，如种族主义者或移民优先论者（即那些认为自己是早期移民而排斥新移民者），无论你来自哪国他都会排斥你。更何况“乡音无改”，新移民即便与旧移民同种也无法完全除去多年修来的气质与口音。也就是说，在一个人人都有国际观的环境里，你是哪国人并不重要，不同背景文化可能更有助于思想碰撞，激发火化。而在思想狭隘的国度，如非同种，你就世世代代处于非同种族的尴尬境地，只能被动期待变革；如属同种，你就等待下一代被认同。 当今世界全球化得那么厉害，做个地球人比做某国人舒服多了，何必折腾呢。我可不想将来后代埋怨我。
除非是因为对中国绝望，我们不会这么做。祖国是娘老子，除非她赶你走，娃儿多了娘老子照顾不过来，我等可能得不到足够的爱，纵使走遍天涯，娘老子也不知我等的辛酸，可是娘老子毕竟是娘老子，谁叫你长得像她还留者她的血呢！
sorry.posted wrongly.
如果我是你，我想我会做同样的选择。。。
@Estella，嗯，直到如今，虽然现在前路是多了一点麻烦，我和Ed也从来没有后悔过这个选择
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